Leftovers become Epic

At the inspiration of (another) web forum user's suggestion, I prepared Sandwiches for Illiway's on Friday and being a wise Cheddar monk, I also documented the process for future generations.

So without further delay, I present "The SnArL epic coronary delight" What follows may frighten children, panic politicians and cause miscarriage in pregnant women. It is not recommended for the amateur and should only be consumed within 10Km of a fully equipped emergency medical facility.

1. The first step is to assemble your ingredients. For each sandwich you will need the following.

- 2 (two) slices of sandwich bread white or whole wheat

- 1 (one) medium egg, fresh, raw

- 3 (three) slices of thick cut bacon

- 1 (one) block of strong hard cheese Cheddar is preferred

You will also need a 20-30cm frying pan Teflon no-stick is advisable.

2. Place the three strips of bacon in the frying pan and turn on the heat to medium low. it is easiest to cut the bacon strips in 1/2 before cooking. The stove setting will depend on your stove and frying pan. You want a warm even heat that will cook the bacon but not scorch the juice and fat. cook the bacon slowly, patience is a virtue. Turn the bacon several times during cooking to prevent curling.

3. While the bacon is cooking, cover both slices of bread with thin sliced cheese (use of a cheese scraper is recommended)

The cheese is the `force' that will bind your sandwich together. A light cheese will not lead you astray.

4. Once the bacon is done to your preference place three 1/2 strips on each slice of bread as shown.

5. Next comes the egg. cook it in the bacon fat. pinch of seasoning salt, basil, or black pepper is optional. keep the heat low, and cook the egg flipping over once. cook until both sides are done but the yolk (yellow stuff) is still a little runny.

6. Slap the egg on to one slide of the sandwich. things are now starting to take shape. At this point you have the option of adding a slice of tomato (not shown).

7. Add a few extra slices of cheese. When the sandwich is grilled, the melted cheese will act as a stabilizing material and hold the completed meal together.

8. Using the remaining bacon fat, grill the assembled sandwich in the frying pan with a lid. (Lid removed for picture to show sandwich) Use care in flipping the sandwich over, as it will not hold together until both sides are cooked and all the cheese has melted.

Use care to brown the sandwich without scorching the bread. You may need to increase heat to medium, but keeping it covered while cooking is the best way to get even heat.

9. Your SnArL epic coronary delight is now ready for eating.

Note: This meal is neither recognized nor condoned by the Cheddar academy, The Jedi Council, Darths & Droids, nor the UserFriendly family of forum users.

Any one attempting this meal does so at their own risk and neither the Author, nor affiliated forum administrators may be held liable for any health issues that may arise.

Covert Infiltration

There are times that a cheddar monk may have to infiltrate enemy strongholds, or leave a location with out being detected. In most cases a simple wave of the hand and a suggestion that there is nothing to see will suffice. However there are species that are immune to forced suggestion, and some high tech planets will have electronic and optical surveillance. In these cases the wise cheddar monk will have a disguise handy, Lets look at some of the disguise options that are open to us.

1) Try and look like the `locals' - While blending in with the natives may seem like a good Idea on the surface, there are often subtle cultural mannerisms that will distinguish you as an outsider. This option should only be attempted with the approval and assistance of the locals to disguise from other outsiders that would not notice any social gaff that you may let slip.

2) Blend in with those you are trying to evade. - Again, when there are 300 enemy troops running around, you could attempt to blend in, While this is great in bed time stories, there are several difficulties. First is finding a trooper who's uniform will fit you, then you need to isolate that individual from their squad or platoon. Finally, even if you manage these two, you need to be well versed in their operating procedures, and the lay out of establishment you are entering or leaving.

What is needed is a disguise that will not raise questions, can blend in with the environment and evade electronic surveillance. The answer is now obvious. Robots are embedded throughout our culture fulfilling all manners of tasks. No one questions a droid going about their business. So now we have a starting point.


Some robots are more suitable for the cheddar monk than others. Let have a look at some and discuss their merits.



Industrial Robot: while very prominent on factory planets, the limitations of such a disguise should be obvious to even the youngest padawan. The lack of mobility would limit your movement towards what ever objective you have in your mission.
This type of robot is not recommended for the covert operations.



Mobile security Droid: while this will allow the cheddar monk to move around unobserved in an environment it's usefulness is limited to species that are very small in stature. Also like guard troops, security droids may have check in routines and self destruct mechanisms to defeat any tampering. (also they do not navigate stairs well)



Humanoid Droids are of course the best option however it must be stressed that picking a model that attracts attention is counter-productive. this goes double if there is a "destroy on sight" order for the particular model. Find a model that is easily accepted and generally ignored by all including other robots.

The Domestic robo-butler (protocol) Droid

With this disguise you can infiltrate anything from a hotel kitchen to a space going cruiser with little difficulties. Personnel will go out of their way to avoid you, and other robots will focus on their tasks when they see you approaching. There is enough variance in the design of protocol droids, that you can make do with what ever you have at hand to simulate a mechanical look. The real key is to make sure that your movements are short jerky so as to preclude an organic being and talk insistently to yourself about the weather, local sports, and how big your brain is. These, along with your disguise will be your `B' plan any time you need to move through a hostile environment.

Sample Improvised Disguise

A Hothstyle Environment (2 for 1 challenge)

Some times the life of a padawan is not an easy one. While I respect the Masters, some times I wonder if all that knowledge crowds out more vital information. Case in point; Last week I get a Galactic Text Message from Master Morgan-Mar "Hieraco - Need you to go to Hoth. Left academy keys in Field Generator Control room - MMM"
Well a Padawan is helpful, and Hoth isn't that far out on the rim, so after navigating the asteroid field (someone should clean up that navigation hazard) I managed to find a place to land - Smack in the middle of the ice fields.
With nothing but my laser sword, and faithful droid B1Na for company I hiked across the ice plains to the foot hills of the frozen forests, through blizzard like weather. It took several days, and I was fortunate to have brought my Taun-Taun sleeping bag. (Remind me to air it out, they really smell bad on the inside after a few days).
Once I found the entrance to the field generator the door was locked (Yup, MMM left the keys inside on the console) and I tried to cut my way in using my laser sword, Unfortunately Hoth is so cold, and the metal doors so thick, the heat dissipated as fast as the sword cut. I ended up looking for an air vent and climbing through the duct work to get in, while B1Na waited out side.
I'm on my way back to the academy now, and looking over the Droid's archive footage, I see that the cold has corrupted the recordings. I've recovered what I could and uploaded it to the Academy Archives.
If anyone knows of a more versatile Droid than the B1Na, I'd be interested in hearing about it, as I have no Idea where the Cheddar Masters will send me next.
-Below: Short exert of Hoth video

-Full length recovered video stored in the ACADEMY ARCHIVES

Doing Good Feels Good

(Challenge level 1 Charity: Make a donation)

The Cheddar monk order was founded with the purpose of maintaining stability in the republic. This stability comes not just from the enforcement of laws, but also the protection of those who are preyed upon by evil. Aiding and defending the weak, and ensuring basic freedoms and rights of all citizens is the foundation of the the order.
Unfortunately, not everyone sees humanity as a whole, and will sacrifice individuals for profit and power (both of which are illusions).
While still under the ministrations of the masters, I go where ordered, thus I was unable to personally attend the enslaved, I was able to financially assist those who have under taken the task to Free the Slaves by donating some surplus credits. A worthy cause to ensure that others enjoy the basic right of freedom that many of us take for granted.
Special thanks to Padawan Metruis who brought this cause to my attention, and sacrificed her time to raising awareness of this issue.

Oh the Ebilness of it all

Force Sensitivity, Level 1

Ah yes there is evil all around us, but who are the truly evil, and who are faking it? Which persons will be straight forward with you and help you out on the path to enlightenment and who will lead you astray?

Well I am not posting any hints or spoilers, you will have to take the challenge and see for yourself. Because this is part of the Cheddar academy, in order to login in to the test you will need to be registered with the Irregular Comics Forum (your user name and pass word will be the same for both)

If you are led astray by `perceived knowledge' and end up with a low score, you can refresh your studies with the Darths & Droids archives. All the answered are there for the padawan with his/her eyes open to wisdom.

My final result was 30/32 (9/10 points) and I will be talking the challenge again after suitable meditations.

Several days later: You have successfully detected the evilness or otherwise of 32 people out of 32. You score 10 points out of 10.
\o/ (The padawan is humble, the padawan does not gloat)